YOE-ism

Workin far from home is such a disastrous event for me. I’m perforced to move to new rental home, meet new people and the most mattered thing to me is, how easy can i get along with those 10-12 people that i’ve never planned to meet in my entire life! anyway, as time passed by, we’d got pretty well together, but of course, the feeling won’t definitely be the same when you’re actually sit with your best chums as u can blurt anything u want without feeling insecured.

I seldom sit and spend my time with my housemates, except for those who are staying together with me in d same room. but they’re quite ok when i tried to be with them and share my opinions with them. but of course, i always dominate the conversation, it’s not that i’m better than them but it seems that they seldom know what the heck i’m talkin about. So, there goes my explanation. For them, things that i do in my life, and the flow of my life journey seems so alien to them. I think what i’ve been goin thru is so plain but they take it as something weird and unusual. I dun think so.

Last night, we started a conversation about friendship and now i’ve realized there are too many friends that i’ve lost along the way. I never stick to one school more than 2 years except for the time when i enrolled for my degree, it lasted for 5 years i think. But, all this while, i realize that our lives are so eccentric cuz we usually made friends for the sake of spicing up our time in a particular place. for me, i can’t live my life without friends. even nowadays that i’ve been workin for quite a while, i seem so restless when i couldn’t meet some of my friends for few weeks. and not to mention how many times i phoned my friends in a day!

but as i rolled back my time, there are few great friends that i’ve lost due to distance and betrayal. i wouldn’t feel so bad when i had to lose my chums for distance but the latter one, really haunts me although i tried my best to forgive and forget what had actually happened between me and them. they are sweet in their own way, but to tell ya d truth, the scar that an ordinary friend slashed is never going to be the same with those who had shared great solidarity with you. It won’t heal! The blood stops dripping but the scar is immortal! I won’t forget few lines that i heard which cultivate grudge and hate in my heart, and i don’t know when it can ever end.

I may being looked as an appreciative person, trying to care for people around me, and i had tried my best to cherish ‘em, but i’ve learned one thing; always learned from the best. Never ever let your ordeal passes by without deep acknowledgement because a human being is full of flaws. You can never assume that whenever u meet a person; this is the perfect man/partner/friend for me. Human can never be perfect, that’s one thing for sure. Always expect the unexpected, although it may lead to sin somehow if in any case it may come to false judgment but at least, you’re actually helping yourself in a way. I did that few times, and when things turned out to be right; i can simply say- i thought so. Then later, you can see that you’re trying to cultivate yourself to accomodate the pre-designed destiny which is meant to be yours.

I wake up with full of zest today, despite the mosquito’s bites all over my body, seems today is such a delighting day for me. I dunno what happened, just felt so. But one thing for sure i know that one of the many burdens that i have is goin to over soon - cuz there’s a terrifying product of mine (yea, a work thing again) is about to reach its deadline on the day after tomorrow. Really can’t wait! But, there are still some parts which aren’t settled yet, but significantly, i’ve completed 90% of its process. I hope what’s left is only trivials.

Anyway, i dun wanna talk much bout thing which troubles me for weeks, but rather things which put my mind at ease. Few days back, I’ve been pampering myself with new genre of music, i.e. opera, but i dun think the songs that i’ve been listening to is purely an opera but rather a boy band with such outstanding operatic voice, such a great talent!- IL DIVO. Well, i never like opera performance, in fact, i loathe it a lot but these boys really changed my obstinated point of view. For the first time i heard they sang Unbreak my heart (Regresa A Mi), i was solemnly attracted to their voices! It seems to haunt my sleep, echoing in my ears, so i guess, to own their CD is definitely a no-regret for me.

Early this morning, as i was driving to my workplace, i put on their cd and i was really swaying in my car, i can’t stop smiling cuz it seemed that my side and rear mirrors were taunting me, "hey, what are you listening?" seriosly, i broke into giggles few times, few cars beside me must have taught i was either on phone or maybe i was some kind of geek! But obviously, these talented, good-looking blokes deserve one word from me, "Superb!"

Their songs are so soothing, it’s like you’re rubbing Vicks on your chest while you’re affected by cold. Luckily, i didn’t fall asleep while queuing for tolls. I’m always in love with Spanish songs, i’ve got few in my MP3 player, and i even tried so hard to memorize them, i think the language itself is so nice to listen to, and it’s not that hard to imitate. Few songs by Thalia have captured my soul before I start to fall in love with iL divo’s. Some songs are in fact a bunch of cover versions but they’re already being latinized accordingly. Anyhow, i’m still loving it!

Coming back to my working mood, i havent completed one product, yet, another one has come to haunt me. I don’t think i wanna settle the 2nd product today. i’ve lost my enthusiasm with this field long time ago - ever since i’ve got to know what i’m supposed to do in this company. It’s obviously very dry, too techno for a lingo person like me. I love, adore those gigantic ideas of new technology in town, new gadgets and how those this and that had actually improved our style of living but that doesn’t mean i’m a person who can easily apprehend how these technos come to life! and i dun wanna know how! I’m absolutely amazed with nu handphones in town, with flat screen, titanium, built-in with camera, mp3 and all those abbreviations that i dun even know what they stand for, but if somebody would like to offer me an explanation how this wire connects to this wire to produce image/sounds, oh no,, Thanks, but no Thanks!!

arghhh!! gtg, i have to rectify some files that i’ve done. just got hurled back from its checking.

Last weekend is the best weekend i had for this whole month…well,i may have a better one next week since the sale’s gonna start in the next 3 days i supposed…anyway, lets not into the sale first, cuz i have better things to share with ya’ll today….

I was tortured - forced by my parents to follow them to Petaling street last saturday, which i know one of the most congested place on earth on every day of the weekend. They were (it was my mom actually) so delirious to go to a gems store which owned by my grandpa’s old friend who is a nepalese - it is situated at the end of petaling street.

At first, it was so hard for us to look for the store - drowned into people’s nudges left and right, and sometimes tripping into those stalls’ poles which are everywhere around us and not to mention how hard for us to make our way through with all those banging voices and soft pats on our shoulders, "dek, kak, jam, cd murah2." adoi,,,,,pening giler!

we have to make few calls to contact that nepalese uncle so that he can come over to the main entrance and take us to his store cuz we were almost lost - i was damn exhausted, my throat started to get so dry, and the sun was so happy playing its role on top of us and i really wanna tell my mom to turn back, and let’s come some other time, it was 2pm in the afternoon for goodness’s sake!

but luckily, not long after that,(not long? it was almost an hour we were drudging ourselves around the street!) the uncle came over and we tailed him until we reach the store. i was very surprise as i entered the store cuz all of the people in the store are originally form Nepal!(he actually shared the store - not solely owned) and they are trading the same product - stones and gems. I glared at all stones placed on the table, and i was so fascinated, they were fantastically gorgeous.

and of course, the stones and gems are originally brought from Nepal but the best thing that we can get here is, it’s is much, much cheaper than any gem store you can find elsewhere. those who are gems freak should go. i wasnt into them after all until that day i stepped into this store. i’ve once bumped into few gem stores in midvalley, klang parade and i saw the same thing which was on sale there with this uncle’s place. and the price there would make u think twice, thrice and maybe forever till u can decide.

i saw a bracelet, gosh, the gems truthfully real, meshed together with few stones (rainbow coloured) and silver bangle, (it was entangled originally from Nepal) and in fact, this is the only place u can find this type of bracelet with such entanglement. trust me! one of my aunts is a gem-freak, she was searching all around KL this kind of bracelet (batu jarumas), i’m not quite sure what it’s called in english, and everything was ended in frustration. she saw once in klang parade, the same stone, but only one piece of stone attached together with the bangle, and u know how much it costs? it was rm600 for God’s sake! but the one that she bought from this uncle has around 10 pieces of jarumas stone and it only cost her for rm300.

the day that i went there, since it was my first time, i was startled again how this kind of business really attracts the tourists. a couple of americans spent almost 3K for this uncle’s stones and gems! and some stones come in a long string, and u can just choose few different stones from the different strings and let those nepalese mesh ur preferred stones together and there you go, wearing a design of your own.

they’re definitely elegant, very compatible to any grand occasion that u might want to attend. i almost lost my mind, i was thinking to buy that fave bracelet of mine! the real price (the price that the uncle and his family agreed on) is RM320 but they agreed to cut off another RM100 for me, so, it’s left with RM220, but i dunno y, it’s still quite pricey for me cuz i’ve made a comparison, i think i can get a GUESS bag for that kind of price, i supposed. then, yea, i’ve changed my mind but i had a restless sleep lastnite, cuz i kept on thinkin of the gems’ glaring shine and its superb combination of colors. Maybe i’ll get it somehow, one fine day could be.

My mom grabbed few gems bracelets - its topaz - coloured in black, green and orange. and she has already chosen few stones to be meshed together as a necklace and it shall be readied by this wednesday. Lucky her! and another best part is, that uncle even gave away few stones bracelets to me, my sis, my dad (it’s good for hypertension), my bro, in short, the whole family. i’ve grabbed myself a shell bracelet which i saw in metro for nearly RM50 and i got it for FOC. haha! Extremely delighting!

So, anyone who is a gem/stone/crystal freak, u guys should come together with me to the store, or else no discount is waiting for you. hihihi….

Bloggg!! Really missed u! hehe…i’ve been really bz in d last 3 days, havent got really nice time to ditch any writin in ere….hope it works this time althou it’s like another 20 more mins for me to leave the office. i wish i can do it back home, more time to write, to ponder on something more fascinating but my home pc has been giving more headache lately - the virus and spyware are everywhere in its brain - really need to send for a repairment somewhere…

my aunt from my lovely hometown comes for a visit today, i’m a bit excited, well, at least there’s someone else that i can see and talk besides my family members. But don’t get me wrong, it’s not that i’m sick of my own 1st degree family but it’s good to have some new people around sumtimes.

anyway, the deadlines with my products really burn me up. i didnt take my lunch for few days, but not exactly losing any kilo for that, cuz i still took my dinner - could be double as much to replace the luncheon that i’ve missed. I’ve completed some work, at least some are solved, and the fatal deadline is on this comin 30th, hopefully everything goes fine, if i can’t, i must make sure it will!

i need a break, people. i wish i still have my annual leave but wattodo, i’ve been utilizing this privilege to the fullest and now i’m done with those leaves. uwaaa!!! i’m yearning a nice, warm spa actually. one of my collegues had been suggesting to about it for a long time, since he kept on hearing all those yells and curses everytime i’m stuck in a sick problem with my work thingy. he knew that i really need a break, inhaling new breeze in a new place…yup, most probably vacation.

i’ve been thinking about few places - but not quite sure which to decide, but of course, locally….

we’ll see how laa….

anyway, gtg, dun wanna caught up with traffic jam …

Today is just like any other day — i’m stuck in my work, unresolved format issues, undetermined page numbers for my product…again and again…i’m actually totally numb, speechless, while the australians keep on hunting me, my work associates ask me this and that, are we sticking to the deadline? argh,,! i can’t answer it cuz i dun have anything to promise ‘em and that makes it worse! right, i just wanna get over this thing! it’s really killin me! i had few products before this and they weren’t tormenting like this month’s products! i just dunno who to blame, i can’t just curse anyone who didn’t have anything to do with my prob but still, the bloated anger in my chest is about to explode!!!!!

i should have thanked God a lot today cuz finally, i’ve completed my syawal-6 fast and today is my "raya" day i supposed. I’m about to go out and have my luncheon with few lovely colleagues afterwards, treating myself with scrumptious food in St. Mall - the food there is sooo good man! those who haven’t got ere, ST. Mall Kenanga is the best "nasi hidang" u can get in Cyberjaya, Trust me! But it’s only available during lunchtime. Maybe there’ll be some grandeur stories to share among ourselves later on. I shall continue this scribble when i got back. Catch ya later!….down with hunger at 11.50am.

1.33pm

i’m back from my lovely lunch,slurp!–black pepper meat, spicy squids and bergedil – so heavenly tasty. but, it wont bother me that much now since i’ve had enuff. by the way, enuff of food now, and more things-to-do coming my way, sooner or later, it will definitely hunt me down again. and while i have some time to complete this piece of writing, let me share with you some lovely things that i’m planning to buy for myself this comin christmas sale or maybe some other upcoming sales. i definitely won’t afford to buy everything at one time….gosh, wish i could…

The excitement within me grows fonder cuz my office is about to hold a dinner, maybe in Le Meridien or Mandarin Oriental (still trying to book a ballroom), and i definitely want to look superb that gala night. Do i sound a bit over reacted? maybe i am, but, still can’t find the right things to wear, yea, yea, have to admit that the hassle in lookin for sizes is really an issue for me! Anyway, these are some things (pics below) that i wish i can look for around KL malls, i dunno if they ever spare me the sizes. I seldom found gorgeous skirt with fine tulle over it for my frame, and it’s so pathetic for me longing for something which is not meant for me, not ere in Malaysia!

• I think that i would rather go for 2-piece thingy rather than a dropped gown or dress cuz it would make me look wider than it should or in other words, mcm pakai karung guni pon ader ..haha, so, i prefer a top and a nice skirts. here are some pics of skirts that i’m dying to own!

so, people, if anyone of you manage to find any type of skirts with these cuttings, do buzz me,,,,plss…hehe…esp the tulle and panel skirts..yikES!

• secondly, definitely i need a fine footwear…hehe, regardless how many pairs i have back home, i’m still cravin for more! erm, i know this one pair of shoe doesn’t suit dinner but i think i’m in love with the design. check it out!

i just love the chains. i had one, and almost worn out and that’s what i call as worth buying!

• need a top as well,  but can’t find any suitable one to match up. really adores top with meshy design - intertwined with different type of fabrics, may look a bit messy but it should be fine to wed a dark, mono-coloured skirt.
• n lastly, need a tote! but many people agreed that a dinner requires a clutch but i dun think i’m graceful enuff to carry a cluth! waaaaaa! here’s one of my faves. check it out!

Hopefully, i can find something similar to this, or maybe i just go and grab this one! haha!

And again, after been daydreamin bout all those faves of mine, here comes my work associate to shove more burden on my head! maybe later, i’ll talk on my targeted bijoux - my new resolution for the brand-new year of 2006!

Back at work, weary as ever…anyway, last weekend i had a great time hunting from one house to another for the almost-reaching the end of eid…i was actually planning to fast on saturday (it was my final day for syawal 6) but then ya know, all those temptations cant no longer be resisted,,,,so, i went to all houses–fillingup my stuffed tum, cuz i already had sandwiches of corned beef back home….ergh, yoe, what d hell r u doin?

u know what my mom said to me? i wish she can say something nicer, or in other words, encouragable but instead, she prefers to say –>"y dun u measure up ur body with that door?" arghgghhhh!!! see, how cruel! anyway, i never listened to all those junkie words she said to me, neither feelin down or losing my esteem to move forward with what i am…definitely, she means it…i mean, she actually wants me to go on a DIET! (Dare i Eat That) …hehe….but what to do, i’ve never got inspired to running a dietary program….well, it doesnt have to marie france or sendayu tinggi ke sgaler..just cut some carbo, fat, some exercises and restrain myself from dinner if possible….well, i guess it sounds so simple but i just can’t get myself into it..it may need a lot of sacrifce, and strength too….and i dun think i possess any strength when it comes to food!huhu…

i have a friend, who is so determined to slim down, and she even followed a professional advice (she actually cracked the internet and started from there). eventually, she made it and now i just cant liking her figure cuz i think she wud be lookin better with some meaty figure…rather than boney…i dunno..i think too much flesh like me is horrible but too much bones is even worse.

goin for a diet really needs a high determination, i had few friends who actually crashed and burned themselves for satisfying their partners, "my bf just dun like my figure now",,ouu,,how pathetic!maybe for them, to be more exact, guys, body figure is much more important than the quality of our hearts. they can deny it till world reaches its doomsday but it wont stop me from saying that they are a type of God’s creation which can’t never had enuff, demanding more than their own worth and everything needs amendment, esp towards the people considered theirs. and the gurls, maybe we are born with good heart, less-rebellious, are very pliable, and guys, how lucky u r, cuz the gals will do anything for you..! iz that so? i actually mock that kind of attitude, cuz for me is, "my body, my way. and to be straight, you actually want my body rather than me as a whole right? does my body had actually embarrased you in front of ur frends cuz i’m not as slim as their gals?" Some even tried to slim down, so that they can fit into nice wardrobe ( i think i shud take this reason as my determination drive, yikes!), or to impress guys while they’re walking by the kerbs, in the malls and maybe to court a long-admired guy. if for me, besides to ease my hassle getting nice clothes, i think i shud slim down a bit- to take care of my heart, avoid hypertension and all the diseases related to obesity. Really spooks me!

this thing has becoming an issue for fat/plump/chubby gals or whatever u wanna call it, to get a bf, and if ur fat, u need to sustain another pre-requisite - nice lookin face since u dun have the right bodyline! arghh! what a man?!now that’s what i call love at d 1st sight is such a bulls***!cuz what he sees in you at d 1st sight is how pretty u r, how voluptuous ur figure is and how sluttish ur eyes towards them. is that what we name as love? is this the man that can cherish u till the end of ur life, to suck ur sadness, to indulge with ur old times - to endure staying beside your bed when ur sick, to clean ur puke when ur haunted by ur pregnancy giddiness, to wake up late at night cuz ur kids are brawling with their hunger or wetness of their diapers?? i seriously doubt it! Some gals would do anything to hold on to a relationship althou they have to cut up some fave chocs, ice cream and stuff but how far the guys appreciate that is the question? i can’t deny d fact that getting better in ur looks has actually exhilarated the degree of a relationship but i doubt how long can it last if it’s physical and material thingy take place all the time? and definitely, it’s not a platonic love at all.

Good lookin people are usually proud with what they r but i dun mean that they are not virtuous, they are and we should stay glad cuz they are still many people around us are blessed with nice looks and personality, but less good lookin are more humane, or modest we can say, nevertheless, if they’re not, mmg seswai laa sgt kuar ayat, "mmg dasar x seda diri laa tuu…"

anyway, i’m cramped with my work right now, i wish i can belch more,,,but that’s it at the moment…Daa..

Yesterday evening was a blast for me,, remember that i told ya that i need a break to shop and eat? well, yesterday i managed to fulfill one of it althou i’m not that satisfied with what i’ve got but yea, no pain no gain and u wont know of something until u actually try it right? so, what happened yesterday was:

• i knew for few days oredi that there’ll be a warehouse sale of loreal and maybelline products, and i even belched the news to few frends, just in case they wanna go and i can just ask ‘em to get sthing for me cuz most of the products are in my head n i know just exactly what i want. but things went the other way around cuz no one was willin to go! and their reason is sensible though; the sale starts at 9.30am till 6pm only!apparently, those who are on work wont able to go, the time range is so limited and all of us know how pack it is if all of us are trying to mass the place after work, and not to mention the parking space and traffic jam while to get there.
• fyi, the sale’s gonna last till today, and  - again unreasonable day! still, the people are workin! those who are toilin in kL are very lucky cuz they’ll have 2 hours break for friday prayer and perhaps they can shoo their arse from the office for a while to get to the place.
• coming back to my story, i made my last-minute decision, i was a bit faltered at 1st cuz its oredi 4.45pm, and the sale ends at 6! n i’m headin to the heart of KL for God’s sake! and plus, i’m fasting! oucch,,,!! too many obstacles, can i make it? but, as i said, u never know what’s ahead until u try, so, i hailed a prayer that everything will be fine for me that day, and that’s it! i’m going!!! so, i parked my car at the erl station, took the train to KL sentral, and directly walked to monorail station and stopped at Bukit Bintang! i didn’t change my heels, my feet were bloody burning, my tummy is sooo hollow then. What a test! I spoke to myself, this is the price u’ll have to pay for ur own insatiable desire!Gosh, as i reached down the Lot 10, and as i was walkin heading to PArkRoyaL hotel, i stared at my handwatch, it’s oredi 6pm! i didnt stop, kept on walkin ahead, climbing two escalators and there was me in front of the entrance, and one of the staff stared at me, ‘come on in, we’re bout to close, u’ll be the last person for today.’ Yahooooo!!!I’m IN!! hahahahhaha!
• but the worst part is, i was there only for 5 minutes! i tot at 1st, only the entrance has it time limit but, but, even the cashiers have it too!!so, i just went on from one desk to anotha, grabbed whatever i could. luckily, i had so many experience messin with the colors, so i wont hv to waste my time for tryin out the colors. within 5 mins, i’ve got myself 2 loreal glosses, (but most of the stuff that i bought was for my sis - so demanding), 5 liquid eyeshadows, one box of loreal feria hair dye and one compact powder and the price definitely lesser than 70 bucks!
• i would like to grab more, but ya know, time restraint was really killin me, i almost forgot bout my burnin feet until i was walkin back to monorail and at that time, i even watered my eyes, damn painful!

so, i think this is one opportunity that all gals out there should treasure! remember, today’s the last day and in case u dunno, the location is at parkroyal hotel (besides lot 10),level 2.

Enjoy!

I was expecting that my mornin today would be super-occupied and i was cursing hard while i was drawing nearer to my office desk - anticipating my issue problems with my work yesterday had resolved and they will hit me to fix ‘em out….but, but, but, a bit of disappointment happened, none of them is resolved! arghhhhh! this is definitely gonna affect my deadlines, and it seems that i have to reschedule all those deadlines to another date! i dun care about the date, the later the better, but my reputation does matter! i wouldn’t say this is my fault, and not in my intention at all to blame others cuz everyone has their own deadlines to chase and those IT-JEDIs may have tonnes of issue problems to be fixed but i dun think they wanna compromise with the customers with the deadlines issues! And again to rephrase -  a customer is always right cuz they’re the one who’s exerting their money! but comin back to my case, i dun want things to be screwed up like this either, pls guys, do fix it instantly and hit me back with those rectifying parts. i know ur gonna make my life miserable just like before, but it’s better for me to stick to the current deadline rather than re-scheduling it. Hate it so much!

Actually, i’m in a very good mood to EAT! haha….i’ve been dreamin to devour myself with something cheesey, creamy, and definitely my fave meat of all time - lamb!arghh!! cant really concentrate on work actually, plus i’m fasting but still i’m thinkin of all these foodies……huhu, not good…

not much thing to say today…maybe i’ll get my hands back late in the evening when i have better things to share but right now, back in my mind, i keep on thinkin of good food, nice bargains on handbags,totes,dinner dress, nice shoes….ouch, and definitely, counting back my account balance….and that’s the part which i abhor most….

and maybe that’s y, i’m bestowed with nice family rather than good money, God knows best, a shopping psychopath like me can’t never resist worldly temptations on trying to look good all the time, desiring things i hardly afford and eventually, will drive my whole family into bankruptcy. In the end, overwhelmed focus on our own self will annihilate lovely bond that we used to have with the people around us. ou yoe, ur life shouldn’t be like that…

My waking up today is very refreshing….and guess what, i’ve slept for 9 delectable hours last nite! Pheww….my body aches relieved, my panda-eyed subsided a bit…finally….i think my giddiness fled off as well…its like for few days i havent got myself a nice, luscious slumber and it really tires me up….anyway, today, and more days coming by, definitely gonna make me drawn into a coma…too many things to settle and it’s like a pile up, fixed one thing, another thing just can’t wait to bother me!

and this morning, more things to settle…you know hard it is when u have to work with system and everything is beyond ur control? this annoying occurence keeps on irritating me and there’s nothing that i can do except to wait for somekind of IT-jedi to help me out. and there they are–out of my reach! that’s one of the problems when u have to fight and struggle in an international co because not everything is prepared for you locally! not even those JEDIs who can help you out when ur facin those incomprehensible issues within ur work territories! and i’m damn sick!now what? definitely, i have to keep on waiting with a pair of watery eyes facing lookin at this beautiful but worn out pc! apparently, i cant stop moping around and wondering what should i do while waiting for things to be resolved! damn, i hate it!

its quite cloudy outside, getting darker and darker,,,,it might rain shortly, i’m pretty sure of that…few of my colleagues (who are workin together with me) had come over to me this mornin, explaining this and that and what should i do next. I dun blame them, they’re just as sick as me - they’re actually very nice to figure things out for me, but yes, everything is out of our bound…nothing i can do to fix things up.i wish i can help but i’m not taught or trained to do certain things which are out of my authority.

at first, i thought there’s no use for me to indulge myself with friendster but few days back, i’ve found my reasons. i’ve been separated from few friends few years back - bout 9 years i think since i was in my hi school. and finally, with this agent, i think i managed to bounce myself back to their memory and i think that’s the best thing that you can pamper urself with by using this agent. some responded and some are not - and those who aren’t, used to be my intimate friends- we shared the same dorm, shared the same mattress frequently, but yea, that is what i called as human beings. definitely, u can’t expect more from people u haven’t met for years! so now what yoe? expect the unexpected!

well, dya know what has actually gone wrong with the conventional heads of people? they just can’t accept changes and rules breaking. i may be influenced by the conventional point of view sometimes but definitely, it will go along with the rules of religion that sometimes, we really love to break but we can’t deny its truthfulness. some people who come from some faraway lands, which seems not to develop or,,do excuse me of using the word "uncivilized". i’m not trying to be very blunt here, but as i believed long time ago, we have to face the reality –berpijak di alam yang nyata. The devil in us has been awaiting for so long to get unleashed and many of us can’t really suppress this wicked devil. I might succumb to it few times, and again, whether minor or major, God knows best but apparently, living in this beautiful country, which still upholds the purity of its national religion, anyone who adheres to it would know what’s yes and what’s not– even the basic things because it’s well-spread, either in schools and in all media. Its just the matter some of us don’t want to stick to it. and even if we used to stick to, we usually think, what if we break it? no hassle right….and due to this reason, we easily divert from what we used to believe. Plus, do u know that we are overdoing things, we can easily influenced as well? maybe some people think that when we have a solid stand and deep in ourselves, we keep on saying that, "this heart of mine is unshakable". but when we are in the extreme side, just because we are forced by some other people to do good deeds or to please somebody or even maybe to abide to a rule which unanimously agreed by the society, we actually can question our sincerity now and then cuz sometimes we don’t even know what are the fundamental rules of what we are doing.

from a less-developed land to a metropolitan, eyes start to round with an awe and the values or way of life that we are abiding to regularly has faded bit by bit. This is actually socially proven. It would be very unnecessary for me to provide the evidence but the moral of the story this time is: "be a learner, rather than a blind follower." This is definitely not a sermon but serves as a reminder, not only to all of you, but to me myself.

Its quite sunny today, heating up freezy breeze up ere in the office…My lips are dry…dehydrated might be..can’t really think of anything to say today but there’s some space deep in my heart needs a shout-out, a damn fat-huge shout out!!So, Let’s belch!

1st of all, this mornin when i was driving to work, i was stuck in a very congested traffic jam and everyone seemed to lose their pique and started to get in between of cars to cut the queues and definitely the cranny was soooo tight! but there was a superbitch who actually worse than anybody else, she followed a car so close and finally, hitting my bumper! S***! and the best part is, she even ran away from her queue without stoppin by the kerb to actually see what had she done with my car!i remembered her car number but what can i do instead? i talked to a colleague bout it later on as i reached my office but the response was null. Negatively, he just nudged his opinion saying that i should have chased her as soon as i got hit, but i was in a jam for God’s sake!But there’s still a lucky part, only some paint chaps are happened to be on the bumper, and definitely few lines of scratches. I hate it! but yes, it’s not in my control but it’s gettin on my nerves cuz it wasnt my fault at all! i admitted that i was my fault when i hit a car at a traffic light junction last week cuz i hehe….i fell asleep while waiting for the green light and i didnt realize that the road was a bit hilly while i park my gear into ‘N’ without holding the brake…it was a luck for me too since both cars were in a fine condition.NVM…let’s ignore it, maybe it wasnt my ‘rezeki’ this time and for that reason, i think i shouldn’t go back and forth to klang too often, at least i need to stay more in the house that i’m paying. damn bored though!

Not much things to do at work today…just some remarks that i saw from people around me–those who have been talkin to me, sharing things with me….well,this time around, i realized that our nature has actually being contaminated by those ungrateful people, desperados, and pervertos who would do anything to be likable, to gain glory, to achieve an opulence life and well-prepared to a tranformation of attitude and identity just for the sake of being glamourous and satisfying the indispensable lust within us!This lust, irrefutably exists in everyone of us– the feelin of being more important than anyone else and the more attention we get than anybody else.This MORE-than-others plague is actually within us, its just the matter how good are we suppressing it down and keep it in control. We apparently can’t keep it low all the time, it’s not good either for our life performance. Nevertheless, the pride that we have when we are ‘More’ is a dogma that we need to ponder on and what are the guidelines we can do to help ourselves.

But what happened today is, more people are getting into this nature of life by self-contamination–its the people themselves are plunging themselves into it without any guilt, without any remorse as long as luxury and lust-satisfaction are showering them. Sometimes, we wonder,,,,,why some kind of nature catastrophes happened here and there and those who are killed are innocent people- ie old people and children who seem to us ‘pure from any profanity’ but God knows best….it might be that it’s not our responsibility to digest all those reasons which are meant for God to compass but one should bear in mind that everything happens for a reason.It’s better for us, keep reminding ourselves e.g someone hits my car today,,,,what sin did i do yesterday?the day before that?or this morning….But one thing for sure, i forgot to kiss my mom’s hand before i came to work today…the quantity, quality, size of the sin- whether it’s major or minor-or maybe it’s not sinful at all, it’s not mine to determine. And that goes to all of us,,,,if some kind of misfortune accidently befalls us, let’s us roll our deeds backwards….and solemnly, we’ll find the answer cuz we are mortals; inevitable from committing any sins, definitely any mistake. and while we are still being prompted by Him by those frivolous ‘reminders’, we should always feel thankful cuz we are among His creations that He still remember…..

I joined my colleagues for a schmooze this afternoon-while they’re completing their lunch, i can do the talking cuz that’s what i usually do–playing a good role of a talker down ere…short and quick but leaves me with a stimulant to rimunate my inner self to fix those broken links….