YOE-ism

I’m thinking of spring-cleaning my wardrobe soon or maybe getting myself a new closet to shove away all my unwearable collection. At first, I was thinking to hold a garage sale but my second thought told me not to. Few reasons there:

1. Most of them are still new.

2. Only worn too few times

3. They’re not that cheap

4. What if my weight-loss is temporary?

5. Possible pregnant collection, although faraway ahead.

6. They’re too nice to be in a garage sale! No way!

So, all I need to do is to detach the current size collection with the 3 months’ back. But not in a sense of casting them away, merely just to avoid wooziness while searching for my daily of what-to-wear.

My weekend has always been the same, repeating history from one week to another. Apparently, it does bore me sometimes. But starting from this coming weekend, my life has gradually changed. Although my routines come and go, I still prefer to stick to it rather than changing it drastically. What-how-why it had changed, I reckon to keep it to myself. But all I know and you need to know, it intensifies the stress that I have all this while.

But I just want to share few things that I usually do when I’m back home with my family. Currently, and most of you are well acknowledged about it, I’m renting in Putrajaya. And leading a nomad life, for me, is very stressful! I have to pack my bag again and again, back and forth every single week. And the most odious part of packing is, I need to stand for more than 2 hours to decide what to wear throughout my 5 working days! One of my friends used to say, “the lesser choice you have for what-to-wear, the better and the faster to decide”. I guess she’s right anyway. Too much of choices indeed drive me crazy! And for that reason, I may need the whole afternoon/morning to pack my bags! Which top matches the right bottom? Which scarf suits the pair? Which bag seems convenient this time around? Err! It’s darn tedious! Despite the hardship, I still do have a simple way to prepare myself – I don’t care much about my footwear. Yes, I do have loads of shoes, and few pairs are still unworn but once I’m in love with one pair, I don’t really bother if it matches my clothes or not. I will keep on moving wearing that favourite pair. And so, it simplifies my decision to 10% of reduction.

Another tale is, I never know how to operate a washing machine! Last week, I had a chat with few colleagues of mine here in the office about it. All of them are about 2-3 years older than me, and most importantly, all of them are mothers to few kids! And coming back to the issue, they were all laughing at me. I’m not sure whether this kind of disability is considered as “embarrassing secret” because obviously for me, it’s too normal. And they even made a face on me when I told them that every time I went back home with my laundry, my mom would do it for me. And the faces of shock were in greater force when I told them that I never wash my own clothes at home, unless if I’m away in hostel whatsoever and I have no choice to place. And one of them labeled me as “mean daughter” when I have my mom to do everything for me – from washing to hanging to folding! And I do think that it’s some kind of hilarious moment when people are startled out of it. Well, here’s my part – yes, indeed, I didn’t do the laundry at all! But when I’m home, my mom is extremely happy because I never let the house be in mess despite the mess would occur in the same hour I’m mending it. My mom cooks for the family, that’s no doubt when I can’t even peel an onion properly. Apparently, I’m not a helping accomplice for her cooking! But the rest of house chores, well, not to mention good at it, but I can’t tolerate untidiness around! Again, no choice to place, exhaustion is another story; and I’m still there, toasting off my whole weekend.

3^rd tale, I confessed that I never like cooking. I love to know the beauty of recipes, and how good the food can be when you have this and that mixed up together. But I never want to learn and that has nothing to do with how my mom raised me up because she’s indeed a great cook and even whined at me few times for being a cooking ignorant. I know it’s highly necessary to learn, and as my mom stated few times, “no husband will stick home with their wives when no good food is prepared”. And I believed it’s true. But I just can’t see my passion for cooking lesson is coming. It might be out there. And I’m on my knees begging it to come over and rescue me! Please do!

The discussion sends me to another side of world, who is lucky and who is not because things we considered as lucky may not perceived as luck to another person. Lives may vary – it will in the end depend on how we contemplate it.

Being away from Kay EL definitely tells a tale. and living in so-called fascinating town in Malaysia; Putrajaya does not amused me that much albeit its overwhelming exposure on the billboards and magazines.

But life needs to move on, and i just have to do what i need to do. and to make sure life is on a steady scale, few mitigations need to be done. and of course, in any human being, i believe that the strength of one’s physique is also affected by the stability of their emotions.

and just like what happened yesterday, i just needed to ease my emotions craving to meet him, but at the same time, need to lessen my expenditure on petrol, which also may help to save my time and energy from driving over to the big city. so, there i was, meeting in Alamanda, Putrajaya, yea..where else nearer can it be?

Nothing much can be done there besides indulged ourselves with food! Parkson was on sale, but it was bad. None had actually grabbed my attention! and after a year, i’ve fagged my life here in Putrajaya, yesterday was the first time i went out to Alamanda’s fountain. The view wasn’t that bad, and it was better than i’ve expected. A mild joy soared and few pics had been taken too.

I didn’t dress up that nice yesterday, maybe because Alamanda was only few miles away from my house and relieved the passion of dressing up. A plain long-sleeved-t-shirt with jeans would do. anyway, here’s how "my first day to alamanda’s outside view" looks like. 

It’s tremendously stirring when my story of losing weight has actually been a concern to few people. I am so grateful to receive few congratulatory remarks from few friends and acquaintances ever since I posted up my latest picture on how do I look like right now.

Yesterday, after I’ve toiled myself losing 12 kilos so far, I’ve sent one private message to few people whom I think they need to make change in their lives just like I did to mine. The response was overwhelming. And I’m so touched knowing that the change that I’m living up right now is actually an aspiration to few people out there.

I’m so glad knowing the fact that it’s not only me who’s trying to live up my dream, but few people do too, it’s just they don’t know the right channel to turn to. But success shouldn’t be kept to one self and for those of you who are trying to make things possible, it’s time for you to decide.

I’ve lost a weight of one sack of rice from my body, and I’m on my way to lose another one. So people, I hope your prayers will always be with me.

One thing about living up your dream, is never say NO when you NEVER TRY.

And as I said in my private message, being slimmer is not always trying to get more attention and strike a beauty, but to gain more confidence, live up a better health standard and most importantly, to put an end to people’s discrimination because when you feel good about yourself, people around you will sense it.

We can’t escape discrimination when we’re not among the normal-sized people. We could actually ignore the talking, but for how long? And it’s true also, as time passes by, we will get used to it but deep within one’s heart, only God knows best. Being in my age, mid 20s, those insinuations won’t mattered much, but I pity those kids back in school when their friends addressed them as, “fatty” or “hippo” and sadly, I was one of them and I know how it felt back then. Few cousins of mine had come back home from school with tears in their eyes, telling their mothers that their friends teased them badly. Their mothers apparently couldn’t resist to wet their eyes as well but in the end, all they can say is, “what else can I do?” oh dear, there must be something that you can do! 

It’s true that I grew with it, and I’m wholly used to it. But if you asked me, “have you ever give a short thought of slimming down?” and the answer would be, “How could I resist that thought?”

But as time eats us up, change is all we need. People would not only stop talking, but indirectly they will feel glad that we had done something to change their perceptions. And this is a first hand experience. Thus, do believe it.

It’s so funny how old tactics of wooing are still alive up till today. Lines like,

“What’s the time now?”, “Have you taken your lunch, breakfast, dinner, bla, bla, bla?”, “Have this seat’s taken?” are so typical that we heard it everyday while waiting at the bus stand, train station or even restaurants.

Those lines are so typical and so far, guys are very keen in practicing it. And few years back, time had popped up another new trend, especially for those desperados, which called as “wrong number” syndrome. I had a friend last time who just didn’t know what to do with her life, and she started to dial up numbers at a public phone. It dialed through, and she managed to know someone since then. But let the story rests as history because I have a better one to share.

Another friend of mine pasted her phone number all around to get a new tenant for her rental house, and it happened that a male stranger, definitely a non-qualified tenant for an all-girls’ house started to call her. Aha, apparently a got-to-know-u kind of approach is going on here.

What the hell is going on? Why it has to be that desperate to know someone? And as a conclusion, I don’t think that only guys are distressed of being unattached, few girls are trying to get hooked, regardless the real identity of the person.

Such a crazy world!

More stories to come but need to rush home now, before traffic jam floodgates my way.

Plus, a bash of sale is going on all around. It definitely drives me crazy!

Many people regard sending “hi” messages continuously towards a distant friend is such a waste. But I’ve experienced few things in life, and I think that it is highly necessary for us to keep in touch with each other although we’ve lost in sight for few months or even years.

And it’s really funny when after some time that we’ve been parted from each other and all of sudden, those lost friends wanted to see us again and re-cherish the moment, just like we had before. How on earth can that be? Time definitely changes us. The longer time we have, the more events occur in our lives. And as we go by, we apparently will own more new friends, new network to get in touch with. But that doesn’t mean that we totally forget our past time, but it’s just like an old novel; it’s there but once we’ve done with it, we head for a new one.

Keeping in touch is not necessarily to see each other frequently. We have all sorts of technologies in the world, sending SMS or maybe forwarded emails are good enough to keep the friendship blooming. But many of us take it for granted, we drag our time along and after being “MIA” for few years, we showed up and acting as if we are still good friends. Indeed, we are still friends, there’s no line saying that we’re not, but keeping ourselves away for some time from each other definitely tells a story.

There’s nothing wrong with keeping in touch again, but to create the moment of affability, just the way we had before is highly impossible. Obviously, they have their lives for years and we are out of date what is going on, and for them to update us with everything is totally absurd. Few things might change; things that we used to laugh together may not be funny anymore, things that we used think the same way may contradict after these few years, and our personal matters that we used to share with them seem hard to confide it again as we had cast our trust to someone else after their disappearance.

To hang out few times, watching movies and do some shopping together seem fine to me, but to sit and talk for hours, story telling of heart events are no longer appropriate. We’ve missed a lot of important parts in their lives and so do them. But if they’re still feeling comfortable to share, I definitely don’t mind to hear because it shows that I still own that special place in their hearts.

They used to be our best buddies, but that was history. History may repeat, but there are too many follow-up actions need to be taken which some of us might think, why should I go back to the so-called friends when I’ve already owned true friends indeed? And the same thing goes with me, because to earn back the lost solidarity and trust truly needs best effort from both sides.

My office is now on a trend; everyone goes on vacation! I love vacation as much as I love shopping, but to go vacation with no extra budget on shopping seems wasteful to me.

Certain people enjoy sightseeing wholeheartedly. It seems that all monuments around that newly visited country were precious and fantastic although they’re very ordinary compared to our Minangkabau carvings we had here in Malaysia. But after all, that what humans are like. Me myself might get stunned and petrified if I ever got the chance to stand in front of Taj Mahal or Sphinx one fine day.

Many people think that vacation help them to ease their mind and soul. It’s true. Seeing something new is always captivating.

But for me, I just can’t enjoy my visit when I don’t have good budget for my shopping. To bring back something different from outside is a MUST to me. A friend of mine, Malin, had proposed to get ourselves hitched with Sabah’s nature end of this year. I would love to, but I just do not know what to enjoy there. Besides wasting my money on the air ticket, I just don’t know what to buy there. I’ve been in Borneo Island for few years and there’s nothing there that seems alluring to me. All I know, the beaches and air there are definitely a world-class rank.

I’m looking forward to be in shopping paradises such as Dubai or Bandung – affordable designers’ brands and stuff…Grr…All I need to make sure is, I have ample time and most importantly, a handsome budget to spend without getting myself broke when I’m back here in Malaysia.

I’m obviously a food lover! And to adhere myself to my current weight management, I have to put aside all the favourite food and cuisines that I have in my list. My list seems to go and on when I’m just so keen in trying everything out. Luckily, there are still lots of food which can’t be considered edible to the religion, and that’s one reason, which keeps me away from them.

But the best thing about this program, I can actually eat anything I want. I once saw one person wearing our company’s badge written “I’ve lost my weight with ice-cream” and it was looking really cool to me. She was striding around the office, grasping 100% of confidence on her face. And whether it’s true or not, it did boost up my enthusiasm to move forward.

But to produce a quick result, I need to watch what I eat. I’ve abandoned ice cream for 2 months now. I cast aside my favourite Baskin Robbins- Caramel Praline just for the sake of this dieting thingy. I took rice once or twice a week – just because I can’t avoid it over the weekend when my mom prepared highly tempting dishes all around the dining table. I had twice Mc Donald’s within these 10 weeks - that’s such an impressive record for me. I took pasta twice – just because I really wanted to try the Italian season in Pizza Hut and the outcome was greatly disappointing.

And some of you may be thinking, what a somber life I’m living out right now –and I can’t deny it, it is dull! for instance – besides passing by my favourite food without have the chance to swallow them, I had my lunch with whole meal bread everyday! Of course I did try to make them look a bit colourful but yes, still missing those days when I can enjoy my mom’s rich and creamy lasagna, or to sit hours and hours in Marche Movenpick, or maybe just to lay back with my popcorn while watching movies. But, eventually, I just came right to one reason; I need a change in my life somehow. I refused to go straight down to my ideal weight, which is 55kilos – this is way too far for me to help it. 60-62kg would do. Well, to some people, it’s still heavy, but bit-by-bit is always better than overdoing it.

A warm good luck wish to few friends who are struggling together with me right now, and always believe that patience is a virtue.

I was extremely keyed up when I heard that there’s another new Superman movie coming in town. At first, I wasn’t that sure, is it a remake or a sequel to the last Christopher Reeve’s Superman 4. But since the new Superman is someone who seems alien to everyone, I was highly agitated, despite the rumours that I’ve heard that he had been selected as Superman since his looks almost resemble Christopher Reeve’s. So, last Saturday was the answer to every query that I have bout this whole project.

He did look a bit like Reeve but it’s no doubt he has such a charm that every person who plays Superman should have. And I think his charm really charmed me! and I’m not trying to make a review on the movie here, but I just want to share my feelings bout this new hottest lad in town, Brandon Routh as a Superman! Overall, I think he is very eligible as a Superman, but for talent to act, it might be a bit questionable. This type of movie apparently did not put his talents to the test. A heavier drama, or a more realistic movie would help.

Anyway, as a great guy with highly super powers, he highly suits that. His looks almost slid me down from my seat, and I just couldn’t stop sighing until my bf was out of words to calm me down. But one thing for sure, he didn’t feel good bout the outrageous compliments Brandon was receiving from me. Who would right?

The movie did please me, full of surprises and emotion shakers.

And now let me take you to the opposite side of happiness. Late that night, what else, Brazil lost the match! It’s such unacceptable fact for me to believe! The final 3 minutes that they had, I can feel my tears almost choked my throat. And as soon as the whistle was blown, my tears just couldn’t wait to roll down. I sobbed even more when I recalled Ronaldinho’s face when he missed his free-kick shot. Many unfair moments that I saw in the match, but just to make it simpler, the World Cup is not meant for them anymore despite the highest ranking that they’ve earned!

Jan called me after the match ended, and she was as frustrated as me, but she didn’t sob the way that I did! She tried to calm me down but the tears just kept on flowing. I fell asleep after that, and I woke up for my dawn prayer 1 hour later, my head was still spinning. Was it a real thing that Brazil had lost in the quarterfinal? But yes it is, everything is true and real. And again, my tears dripped.