YOE-ism

I have been wandering around lately, searching for what else to do to ease my boredom and loneliness. I stay home most of the time, taking my own sweet time to put my body to rest and my mind in peace. Now I know driving in pregnancy is so taxing, and it is worse if you have to fight the contemptuous traffic jam all the way.

Nowadays, as I’m coming to my 6^th month, my body aches easily and I hardly sleep at night. There will always be few times in the midst of my sleep that I have to wake up for loo sessions and fixing my numbed hands and legs. And to get back to sleep? O yes, not as easy as I thought it could be. I have been rolling eyes for more than half an hour before I could end up in another cloud of dreams.

I am bored at home, but I think this is the only way I could have a good rest before I’m urged to classes on some other days. There is no more room for shopping as I don’t find a good reason to do so except looking for maternity pants (thinking of) and buying things for my unborn baby. Still, I refuse to go alone while I only will be meeting my husband twice in a month!

Being alone most of the time gives me more room to reflect. It has sculpted me to be a better vicegerent of God and pinches the hiatus between me and Him. I have to be thankful after all, despite the hardship that He has tested upon me.

So now is my 6^th month, and I have gained 9kilos so far! But that is not the only change I’m going through. My skin tone has changed! It is now darker and bleaker. J

Quoted from my husband about my skin, “it’s no longer glaring! Or else, you look so ‘bright’!”  

It is a bit weird for me, but once a while, I wouldn’t mind. I have never been this dark in my entire life anyway. It’s all right. My face is different too. It’s now bloated and my nose looks like a clown’s – red and round!

I know I have to lose my weight again, once I have delivered the baby. Going through the tedious process that I have been through a year ago…*sigh….

But by the way, I have got the baby scanned. It’s a boy. J

Now I’m back in town and finally back with classes. I hope this semester will be the last one that I have to attend the classes since by next semester; I should be ready to write my dissertation. And for that reason, I’m left with no choice with the class schedule but to abide to it. What had happened to me last semester was actually much better than what I have to go through this semester.

The courses that I’ve signed up this semester are as many as what I have taken last semester but the timing for each course is crazy and it has forbidden me to travel to meet my husband. Yes, we are still separated and I just don’t know when will be the right time for us to be together.

Being separated like this may sound all right to some people. But I have tried so hard to get used to it since last semester but it has never turned out to be fine. And right now, my baby is growing and I find it’s not easy to move around without a husband by my side. But yes, both of us own different commitments and life must go on. Since not many options are available, few sacrifices must be met. So I guess that is what I’m doing right now; putting myself together and stay focus. To be honest, what is said may appear easier than implementing it.

I’m expecting to deliver this baby somewhere in May; it might come out earlier than expected and if it does, I do have another reason to worry because I will be sitting for my final exam at the end of April and I couldn’t help to deliver it during this period. I’m hoping that God has arranged it nicely for me so that I could properly deliver my baby on time as soon as I’m done with my exams. I’m fully aware that my time going to classes this semester will be tougher as the baby is growing and I will totally be on my own striding the sturdy traffic jam in

.

I can’t help lamenting, and I hope, despite the obstacles obstructing my way, inner strength is still there to guide me through.